— Mark Paxson
Yes. I’m full of questions today…
I see this everywhere these days. In published books I read. In manuscripts I read for other writers. Typically when I tell a writer about this, the reaction is more or less a shrug of their shoulders. But …
What I see a lot of are books written in third person past tense that include words that shift briefly to present tense. Here’s an example from The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah:
You will be the adult now, her father had said to Vianne as they walked up to this very house for the first time. She’d been fourteen years old, her eyes swollen from crying, her grief unbearable. In an instant, this house had gone from being the family’s summer house to a prison of sorts. Maman had been dead less than two weeks when Papa gave up on being a father. Upon their arrival here, he’d not held her hand or rested a hand on her shoulder or even offered a hand kerchief to dry her tears.
Another example from the same book:
Vianne had been in so much pain it was impossible to think of anyone else, especially a child as willful and impatient and loud as Isabelle. Vianne still remembered those first days here: Isabelle shrieking and Madame spanking her.
When I searched for the word “here” in the book on my kindle I found numerous examples of this. But it’s not just “here” that to me sounds like present tense inserted into a past tense narrative. For example, in the middle of a paragraph like above, the line might be something like, “she felt upset now” even though the paragraph is about an event that happened in the past. And it’s not told in first person. It’s third person.
To me, words like here in the above and the occasional use of other words like now are present tense words. They don’t belong in a narrative that is told in past tense.
Am I missing something? Because I really do see this everywhere. I don’t know if when I read for pleasure, I’m just catching things that I never saw before or if this is a new development. Or … am I just imaging that this is a problem and it really isn’t?
Writers Supporting Writers 
In the examples you used, “here” does stick out. And I think they stick out more in third person narration because it is often a formal way of telling a story where the reader expects a certain level of literacy,
In first person narratives a story can be told by a character informally, with the character using everyday speech where tense is a little more flexible. I know that I struggle with it. For instance when you have something that existed in the past, but still exists at the time of the story, do you refer to it in past tense when relating an incident from the past that is being told in the present context of the story? I mostly go by what sounds the best.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It would make more sense, or at least not be as problematic in first person. In the story these examples are from, the story takes place 80+ years ago. There can’t be a “here” if it happened in the past. Unless it’s in dialogue.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I use it too. I do not see it as the present of the reading time, but the present time of the story, which has passed already for the writer (since the past tense) but not for the character. It is the here and now of the story time. And you can use here even in a classical past tense phrase, not related to a story: She arrived here two days ago. Not so much using now, which in a regular phrase would require present tense, but in a story just brings you closer to the story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Here” and “now” seem problematic in past tense to me, too. Sequence of tenses has a tendency to get me wrapped around my own axle.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m glad it’s not just me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s not just you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Both of those “here”s can be removed. They make both sentences awkward. Although “here” is a locating noun, it does make an odd impact on tense.
I’d chock it up to inexperience.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Kristin Hannah is one of the most popular novelists today and I see it in plenty of other traditionally published books by well-known authors.
But … it is far more common in indie published books.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Popularity does not necessarily equate to quality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree. I was just responding to the part about being inexperienced. The shame is how many times I see this in traditionally published books. Aren’t they supposed to have editors who catch these things? 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know if quality enters into any equation where $$$ rules the day. If some statistic showed that a publisher could skimp on editors, produce twice the number of offerings, and make more money, wouldn’t they?
Writer: “Isn’t it your job to perfect our manuscripts?”
Publisher: “Aren’t you overdue on your delivery date?”
“Well, yes, but if you’re not going to refine…”
“Get us those pages or we’ll cancel your contract.”
“Alright.”
“Good. Now, what about that story regarding a monkey experiment where the apes take over the space station?”
LikeLiked by 2 people
The publishing industry ain’t what it used to be.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I remember wrestling with something like this when writing in first person past tense, where I envision the narrator remembering events long after they happened. But I don’t notice it when I’m reading books written by others. I’ll have to look out for it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
In some circumstances, it would be fine in first person. But it doesn’t make any sense to me in third person past tense.
LikeLike
I wonder if in the book you’ve quoted from, the use of “here” is explained by “this very house” in the first line of the first quote. If the narrator is in that house while remembering the events described, she may very well refer to it as “here.”
On the other hand, as somebody said, those words could easily be omitted.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well … now that you’ve pointed out that phrase … “this very house” … that’s also a problem. More of a present tense phrase than past tense.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Unless she’s sitting in that house telling the story… But if that’s the case it should be made clear at the start, or at least before this scene.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I pick up a lot of things like you have mentioned here when I read too. It is since I started writing. Before that I didn’t really notice such things. My two pennies worth is that it has to do with writers trying to show and not tell all the time. Showing often results in slipping into present tense. I have to watch for this all the time in my own writing.
LikeLiked by 3 people